Laws of Wristwatches

Wearing a wristwatch implies that you were born before January 1st, 1987, and are either too stuck in the past, or not sophisticated enough to check your cell phone for the time.  

If you wear a wristwatch and a bluetooth, and make less than $200,000 a year, you better be counting down til you self-destruct or you're a douche.

If you wear a wristwatch and pajama pants, and make less than $100,000 a year, your screenplay had better win a fuckin Oscar or you're a tool.

If you wear only a wristwatch, you better be trying to beat some sort of record, or you're a fag.