Doctor's Office

Sometimes you get boners at awkward times.  In class, when you have to rest your arm on top of it and move it to the side.  In church, when you have to tuck it up inside your belt to stand up and say "and also with you."  Most times these boners go unnoticed by the general public because obviously, noone is looking for them.  The doctor's office is different.  You may not know why you have a boner, you just know that you do.  And within minutes, your fifty year old pediatrician is going to grab you like a joystick as he hunts for your balls.  A nice Korean family has just entered the room, and you know you have 5 minutes to lose your erection.  You start flipping through a magazine, wondering why they have such hot moms in Highlights.  Receptionist behind the desk? Hot.  News broadcaster on TV? Hot.  There it is.  You know what you have to do.  The forty year old Puerto Rican taking his fat eight year old son to the doctor.  You settle into your chair and lean forward, eyeing him up.  He looks menacing, with one gold earring and a stern brow ridge.  He catches your eye and turns away, still menacing but now confused as well.  No time to break contact.  Study him.  Think about his fat disgusting body and his retarded son playing together.  Oh no his wife finds his menacing appeal but fatherly attitude attractive.  She wants to blow him.  FOCUS.  Picture him taking a shit.  With his son.  Holding hands.  Picture the scent.  And the sloppy sounds.  Picture... Oh shit he noticed you staring at him.  He's mad.  Picture him beating the shit out of you for staring at him with a boner.  Ahh that'll do the trick.